If you’re the kind of person who feels most alive outdoors, or if sitting in a hushed room while someone plays traditional organ music doesn’t sound quite like you, then planning an outdoor memorial might be exactly the gift you want to leave behind.
Because here’s the thing about pre-planning your funeral: it’s not morbid. It’s generous. It’s one less impossible decision your loved ones have to make while they’re grieving. And if you’re going to do it, you might as well make it you.
Here’s how to plan an outdoor farewell that actually feels like yours.
Why Go Outside?
Beyond the obvious (fresh air and natural beauty), outdoor services offer something harder to name. They can feel less like an ending and more like a return. The sky opens things up. People breathe differently. Conversations flow more easily.
Plus, your guests are far less likely to whisper. Something about being outside gives everyone permission to actually talk about you – the real you, not the sanitized eulogy version.
Picking Your Spot
Where do you feel most like yourself? Here are some ideas:
Your Own Backyard
The garden you’ve tended for decades. The patio where you’ve hosted countless barbecues. The porch where you drink your coffee every morning. Home is underrated as a venue, and it’s often the most meaningful choice.
A Beach or Lake
If water is your happy place, claim it. The sound of waves or the stillness of a lake gives people space to feel whatever they need to feel. Just leave a note suggesting they stake out a spot early if it’s a popular area. And maybe warn them about wind. Wind and eulogies can be challenging.
Your Favorite Park or Trail
That bench where you’ve watched a thousand sunsets. The trail you’ve walked so many times you could do it blindfolded. These places already hold your memory; a service just makes it official. If you’re choosing a longer trail, suggest the service happen at the trailhead, with an optional walk afterward for those who are able. (And those who aren’t can raise a glass from the parking lot. You’d understand.)
A Golf Course
If you’ve spent more Saturdays on the links than anywhere else, why not? Many courses accommodate memorial gatherings, and there’s something poetic about being honored near the 9th hole.
A Vineyard or Botanical Garden
Beautiful, peaceful, and already set up for gatherings. These spots offer stunning backdrops without requiring anyone to rough it. If you’ve always had good taste, let your funeral reflect that.
On a Boat
For the water-obsessed among us, a service on a boat, especially if ashes will be scattered, can be profoundly right. Charter companies handle these regularly and can guide your family through the logistics. You just need to decide: sailboat serenity or motorboat efficiency? (This may say more about your personality than you realize.)
The Practical Stuff to Sort Out Now
Here’s where pre-planning really pays off. Handle these details now so your family doesn’t have spend time searching for information like “do I need a permit for a funeral in a park” while they’re grieving.
Permits and permissions. Public parks, beaches, and natural areas often require advance permission for gatherings. Research what’s needed for your chosen spot and leave clear instructions, or even file the paperwork yourself, if it can be done in advance.
A backup plan. Weather is the one thing you can’t control (unless you’ve figured something out that the rest of us haven’t). Specify an indoor alternative or note that a tent should be rented. Or, if you’re the type, leave instructions that a little rain never hurt anyone and they should tough it out. Your call.
Accessibility notes. Think about who’ll be attending. If your chosen spot requires a hike, make sure there’s an alternative for anyone who can’t make the trek—or choose somewhere everyone can access. You want people there, not stranded at the trailhead.
Seating and comfort. Folding chairs, blankets, hay bales—whatever fits the vibe. If it might be hot, suggest shade and water. If cold, recommend keeping it short. Your family will thank you for thinking this through.
Making It Unmistakably Yours
This is where you get to have some fun. What do you want people to remember?
Set the Scene
Leave instructions for a memory table with your favorite photos, meaningful objects, or that weird collection everyone always asked about. Give people something to gather around and laugh over.
Plant Something
A tree, a garden, a single rosebush—something that grows. If you’re choosing cremation, there are biodegradable urns designed to nourish a tree planted with your ashes. Your legacy, literally taking root.
Pick the Music
A live musician, a playlist, a single song that says everything. Be specific. If you leave it vague, someone will choose something safe and boring. If you want “Dancing Queen” played at full volume, make sure to make your wishes known.
Encourage Stories
Skip the formal eulogies if that’s not your style. Instead, leave a note inviting people to share memories – the real ones, including the embarrassing stuff. The best funerals are the ones where people feel free to laugh and cry.
Dress Code (or Lack Thereof)
Give people permission to skip the black. Request your team’s colors, your favorite shade of blue, Hawaiian shirts, or “whatever you’d wear to my backyard barbecue.” It’s your party.
A Symbolic Moment
Butterflies released, lanterns lit, bubbles blown (genuinely lovely, I promise), or a toast raised. Give everyone a shared action. It helps people feel like they’re doing something when they don’t know what to do.
A Few Notes to Leave Your People
Tuck these into your pre-planning documents:
- Tissues. Many tissues. Crying outdoors hits different.
- Check the sun’s position at the planned time. No one should have to squint through a eulogy.
- Keep it moving. Outdoor services work best when they’re heartfelt but not marathon-length. Standing in the elements is different from sitting in a chapel.
- It’s okay if something goes wrong. A rogue dog wandering through, a sudden gust stealing someone’s notes, a bird with impeccable comic timing—these things happen, and honestly? They’ll become part of the story. You’d probably love it.
The Part That Matters Most
Here’s what your family will discover when they gather in the spot you’ve chosen: it feels like you.
The place you picked, the details you planned, the permission you gave them to laugh and cry and wear comfortable shoes – all of it says something. It says you thought about them. It says you wanted to make this easier. It says you knew exactly who you were, right up until the end.
That’s not a small thing to leave behind.
So pick your spot. Make your notes. And then live your life, knowing that whenever the time comes, you’ve already given everyone you love one final, generous gift: a goodbye that feels like you.
